It’s disgraceful! I’ve never been so incensed in my life. This morning I called at the bank – my bank – to arrange an interview with the manager. I was greeted by some rouged and powdered female who claimed to be the clerk.

On informing her that I wished to make an appointment with the manager she replied that “e’s gorn to Londin to ‘ave ‘is ‘air cut – give us a call this arternoon”.

I replied that I could not telephone as I had no phone and she replied – “aaw, I wouldn’t bovver then. We don’t do charity cases.”

I shall visit the bank at nine-thirty sharp tomorrow and give this dandy of a manager a piece of my mind.